St. Luke's Parish
www.StLukesParish.com

108 Washington Rd, Barrington, RI 02806

A Roman Catholic Community 
in the Diocese of Providence, Rhode Island


Navigation menu

Home
Bulletin & News
Calendar
Directions
Links & Media...
Our Ministries...
Staff
St. Luke School
Photo Gallery
Sacraments
Visitor Feedback Page
Electronic Contribution

Up About Our Faith Featured Links Memorials Parish History St Luke's Media Humor

Humor

Here's a list of all variations of the "God Speaks" billboards.
The billboards are a simple black background with
white text. No fine print or sponsoring organization
is included. 

 

Tell the kids I love them. -God

 

Let's meet at my house Sunday
before the game. -God

 

C'mon over and bring the kids. -God

 

What part of "Thou Shalt Not..."
didn't you understand? -God

 

We need to talk.  -God

 

Keep using my name in vain,
I'll make rush hour longer.  -God

 

Loved the wedding,
invite me to the marriage.  -God

 

That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing...
I meant it.  -God

 

I love you and you
and you and you and...  -God

 

Will the road you're on
get you to my place? -God

 

Follow me.  -God

 

Big bang theory,
you've got to be kidding.  -God

 

My way is the highway.  -God

 

Need directions?  -God

 

You think it's hot here?  -God

 

Have you read my #1 best seller?
There will be a test.  -God

 

Do you have any idea
where you're going?  -God

 

(And a personal favorite...)

Don't make me come down there.  -God

 

These are actual clippings from church bulletins. It's amazing what a
little proofreading could've prevented.

_________________

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at The

Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all

the way from Africa.

_________________

Don't forget the National PRAYER & FASTING Conference. "The cost for

attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

_________________

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the school

recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

_________________

Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious

pleasure to the congregation.

_________________

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those

things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

_________________

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your

own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

_________________

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a

conflict.

_________________

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight will

be: "Searching for Jesus."

_________________

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help

they can get.

_________________

Barbara Jones remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more

transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of

Pastor Jack's sermons.

_________________

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing

"Break Forth into Joy."

_________________

Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.

_________________

Irving Benson and Jessica Carter were married on October 24 in the church.

So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

_________________

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will

follow.

_________________

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"

Come early and listen to our choir practice.

_________________

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several

new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

_________________

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoy sinning to

join the choir.

_________________

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.

Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

_________________

or those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery

downstairs.

_________________

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s)

you want remembered.

_________________

Attend this meeting and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a

healthy lunch.

_________________

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and

gracious hostility.

_________________

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.-prayer and medication to follow.

_________________

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be

seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

_________________

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are

invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

_________________

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 8 PM, Please use the

back door.

_________________

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the Church

basement on Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this

tragedy.

_________________

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please

use the large double door at the side entrance.

_________________

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan

last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."

 

 


St. Luke's website page visits since November 10, 2001 

doteasy.com - free web hosting. Free hosting with no banners.

Email this website to a friend:
doteasy.com - free web hosting. Free hosting with no banners.
Search St. Luke's Website


powered by FreeFind

Last Update 01/16/10         2001-2013 St. Luke's Church Corporation, Barrington, RI
Website created and maintained by Chuck Anastasia